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22.) I AM DESPRETE I NEED HELP AHHH...I AM SUCH A DORK BUT PLEASE HELP ME THIS IS KILLIN ME,,,,,,oky this is gonna sound oo so extermly doky but yea...my and my freind jay are rele tight like we are cool and everything we met at band camp he is a trumpt playa and i am on colorguard,,,,,so yea,,i had him in my tech class this semester and i started to like him alot like alot!!!!! we alwaz hang out and EVERYONE thinks we are goin out but we are not and it hurts everytime he or i say no! i think he likes me and i think he noes that i like him but mybe he is just actin like a freind i want to tell him that i like him but i can't and i sux b/c i have done that b4 and i have crashed and burned!! and i also do not want to mess up wut we have goin on now we are like rele tight we hugg eachother and everything but i do not noe if he like thinks of me as a sister or something more
Hey,
Lol it sounds like you’re worrying a lot about this, but I dont think you have to. The first thing I would do if I were you is plan a good time when you can talk to Jay one on one. Make sure there aren’t any distractions, such as his friends standing around or even somewhere where there are a lot of people. You could call him or talk to him online, whatever is easier for you. I would tell him that you really love being his friend. Tell him that he means a lot to you and you feel lucky to have someone as cool as him to hang out with. First, take note of his reaction to this. Does he seem dissappointed to the fact that you’re only "friends"? Does he say something similar in return? If one of the two occur, you’re probably safe to suggest that he likes you too, and you don’t have to worry about crashing and burning. Lol
Just be honest about how you feel without going overboard. Start by saying that you wish you could spend more time together and hang out more. Flirt with him and let him know that you treat him differently than you do other guys. I think the main thing you need to remember through letting him know that you like him, is just to be yourself. Flirting can sometimes make you someone you’re not, so I guess there is a limit.You have to remember that if he does ALREADY like you, then he likes you for who you are right now. Going out with him shouldnt change ANY of that. I wouldn’t rush into telling him that you like him though. Give it a little time. Guys like girls that are hard to get, but if this guy is really shy or something you may have to be the one that finally speaks up. Either way, remember to be calm about it and just tell him that you really like him. You could even reverse this and ask him if he is interested in anyone. Hint towards the "girlfriend" subject and take note of his reaction. This could help you bring up the topic as well.
I think he’s probably already got the impression that you like him, so talking about it shouldn’t be a major shock. If things are meant to work out with this guy they will, so don't worry too much about it. You can let him know that you like him without being embarassed or upset if things don't go the right way.
Good luck with this and I hope I helped!
21.) Hey there! I was wondering if you could help me with my problem.. You see, there's this guy I really like and he likes me back too, but the only place we see each other in is at church and that's when we're with our families, so it's really hard for us to talk to each other! Any suggestions as to how we can get to know each other better?
This is hard. I’d start by just talking together more. Does he have a screen name or an email address? If so take advantage of that and try to make time to talk together. Once you develop a comfortable relationship don’t be afraid to give him your phone number. Let him call you and listen to him. I think guys like having girls that dont blab on and on about themselves, so giving him that ‘extra attention’ should really help get things going. There are so many things you can do once you have a comfortable relationship with this guy. Invite him over to watch a movie, or just go see a movie. Go for a walk together somewhere, or even try to sit by him in church if you can. Always remember to be yourself around him and let him learn to love you for it. It sounds like you’re on the road to having a good relationship so take advantage of any kind of connections you can make with this guy. Im sure that if he likes you too, he won’t hesitate.
Good luck with this and I hope things work out 
20.) Ok here the thing:
there is this guy that like me but hes not just a guy he like one of my bestest friends and I've always liked him a little but now that he like me I dont know if i rele should go out with him...I sorta rele want to go out b/c hes rele sweet and all but what if things happend between us and that ruins our friendship so that my prob hope u can help me!! Nice Site
This reminds me of myself a year ago. Lol My best friend who was also a guy liked me. Deep down I knew that I liked him too, but I was scared. Like you said, I was worried that I would lose our friendship because I had seen so many good couples break up and end up not talking to each other. I definately didn’t want that to happen to me...so, I made my best friend wait awhile. I probably shouldnt have done that...but like I said, I was afraid.
My advice to you is to go for it. Ive been going out with that "best friend" for over a year now and I dont regret it. I think that best relationships come from couples who have known each other for the longest time, and they have been best friends. Its awesome to have a boyfriend you can be yourself around and KNOW that he loves you for it. The main thing you have to remember if you do start a relationship with him is to try and keep things as normal as possible. Don’t freak out just because your labled " a couple". Continue to treat him as if he were your best friend. Talk to him without trying to be someone else. He loves you right now for who you are as his best friend and going out with him shouldnt change that.
I wish you the best of luck and I hope this helped!
19.) Ok I need help an I have read on here were you have helped someof these people an I am really hoping you could help me so......
I was dating this guy who I cared for ALOT.....we had been dating for about 6 months an I had became really close to him besides the fact we were best friends over the summer and last year. So my bff hooked us up at the start of the school year an we became alot closer an feelings got really strong well I was going to this youth church on a Wed. nights and he was cool with that but then these two girls I thought were my friends but happened to be his BEST friend tells him that one night on the bus I played this really stupid sex game with a boy that I think of as my brother. Well they told him I had played this game an he askme about it an I told him I ddidnt an he beleived me but later on about 3 weeks later when we had forgottin all about it an he was sertain it was a lie an I hadden messed around on him he tells me hes threw with me. Thing is one of the girls that told him this wasnt even on that bus that night and the other one was but she sat three seats away from me. The girl that was on the bus had previously dated this guy an they were rater close but anyways......about 2 days after we broke up I found out he already had another g/f an was wearing her class ring an a few days later another girl he is rather close to tells me he dumped me for this girl.......I have ask the two girls he told me told him about it an they denied it. It hurts so bad an on top of all this he told my best friend he still loved me an cared about me then like 3 days after I went back to school the first day I had saw him since we had broke up like 4 days before that he gave me the biggest hug an told me he cared about me still. He still talks to me an all but I cant look at him the same I want us to be more than friends again. I want him to know that I did care about him an I did NOT do anything on that bus that night.WHAT DO I DO PLEASE HELP!!??
Brokenhearted_by_the_love_of_my_life
Woooah, this is a lot to deal with, but YOU CAN handle it.... Okay, first things first. This guy broke up with you for another girl, but you said that you had a really strong relationship before hand. That to me, is very confusing. Something wasn’t as strong as it shouldve been if he could so easily break up with you and then start a relationship with another girl.
On top of all that, I find it hard to understand how he can say that he still loves you and cares about you so soon after he broke up with you. If he broke up with you because of the rumor that was made up about you with another guy on the bus, then I dont think that he wouldve made a good boyfriend for you if you wouldve kept going out. You have to have trust to have a long lasting relationship. It sounds like he believed you, but the fact that he dumped you so shortly after this rumor started, and then he was able to start a relationship with another girl doesnt make any sense.
If I were you I would make this guy wait. I know that it has to kill to not be with him and you’re going through the most awful side effects of a broken heart, but something just doesnt seem right with this guy. If he’s going to mess with your heart, by telling you that he "still cares about you" after he’s already broke up with you...then he has some problems he needs to work out first. Be patient. If this guy really does "love and care about you" then he’ll start by working things out himself. You’ve got to remember that if his love for you was as strong as you thought it was, then it wouldn’t have been so easy for him to just start dating another girl.
I would tell him that the rumor he heard about you on the bus wasnt true, and tell him this very seriously. Don’t break down and start crying, just state the facts and let him know that you’re sorry if this is what caused him to break up with you. Also tell him that if he does love you then he needs to prove that to you. Whether this means him not going out with any other girls and only seeking after you for awhile, let him do it. He needs to show you that he’ll be there for you, and that he trusts you BEFORE you continue a relationship together again.
Like I said before, just be patient. What’s meant to happen will. In the meantime, try to think about other things. Don’t focus on the past...think about making new friends and hanging out with people you can trust. A broken heart doesnt last forever...but a good trusting relationship will. Make it worth the wait.
I hope this helped
18.) Hi... my name is Shelly and i do need some advice.. My life is pretty messed up.. So if yu can help I would appreciate it a lot.
Well yu see, i come from, well its not a bad family but most of my family do bad things. My dad and basically the rest of my entire family smokes weed. It probably shouldn't bother me as much as it should, but it does. My dad also used to him me when he got high. He hasn't hit me in a while but everytime i smell the weed, it makes me think of it. I almost cut myself because of all the bad shit that was happening to me like a year ago. It was horrible. But, the night I was going to cut myself, my current best friend savd my life. We didn't know each other that well the night she saved me. We had met on the computer because I knew a couple of poeple she hung out with. Well that night, I had a butcher knife in my hand and i was seconds from doing it when she IMed me. So we started talking and I told her abt my problem and she helped me. Ever since that night, I've considered her my best friend.
We've neve gone to the same school, but we always made sure we talked everyday and saw eachother every weekend. Well now that we are in high school, we hardly talk and we got into our first, well i don't know if yu'd call it a "fight" but a dissagreement. She thinks now that I'm hanging with a different group of ppl that she's not my best friend anymore, which is not the case. I would never ever think of her as anything other than my best friend. I've told her this. She knows that she saved my life and now that I'm losing her I dont know what I'm going to do. But like, she's hanging out with this girl now and she calls her her best friend and she doesnt call me her best friend anymore. I'm soo confused. Also, I am talking to one of her friends a lot now and she got angry because she doesnt talk to her anymore. She basically said that she didn't want me to talk to her that one girl anymore. I don't want to pick between them because I love them so much that I don't know what I'd do w/o either one of them.
What can I do to tell her that she IS my best friend and always will be? I've tried talking to her like 461346387645 times but she won't listen.
Thanks for reading this, I know it's long.
–Shelly
Dear Shelly,
Wow, this is hard..but I see where you’re coming from. It’s awesome to me that you did have someone there for you, especially when you were going through such a hard time. It sounds like your friend is maybe feeling a little insecure herself. If I were you, Id try talking for the 29837492387 time. Lol Once more cant hurt anything.
Id tell her that you’re sorry if she thinks that you’re choosing someone over her. Tell her that there isnt anything wrong with having more than one "best friend". To me, thats just a label..and I know it sounds dumb, but that’s not what makes a friendship. Let her know that. Tell her that you’ve never gone through thick and thin with someone else, like you have with her Try to do something fun together and let her know that you still enjoy her company. Invite her over or make some sort of scrapbook for her. Write her a note, or just call her to talk for awhile. Giving her the time that she probably misses will most likely work the best.
Tell her that you’re thankful for her..and basically, just prove that to her. She’ll see that you’re sincere in your actions and she’ll understand. If she doesn’t then maybe she just needs some time to herself. Who knows. Jealousy is an evil thing..and it can hurt a lot. Just focus on getting to the bottom of this and above all, show her that you still care.
I wish you the best of luck with this and I hope I helped you.
17.) alright, i have been dating this guy for about a month now and we were both virgins when we first had sex together. Me and him didn't really have a great relationship like hang out everyday or call each other everyday and stuff like that. But me and my friend [[ which is a girl ]] went over to this one guys house. I never really talked to this guy before but he was amazingly hot and popular; he was the typical awesome football player, beautiful, but a bad personality/player. One thing led to another and we eneded up having sex and the guy that was also there ended up telling everyone at our school and my boyfriend ended up finding out. what should i tell him? i already swore up and down that nothing happened and i don't want him to think that i am a liar! please help me, thanks! also;; great site<333
<3333Rachel
Dear Rachel,
Wooah. This is definately a problem. If you already swore up and down that you WERNT lying..and you were lying...? That's like digging yourself into a hole and knowing that in the end that you arent going to have any way out of it. You have to tell your boyfriend the truth and most importantly you have to realize that what you did with this "hott-football player" was a mistake. In order to make a relationship last with someone you have to be able to trust them, and they with you. Before you let yourself fall into another situation like the one you had, you have to ask yourself a few questions. Most importantly, what kind of relationship do you want to have with a guy. Do you want to have a loose, partying, barely talking to each other and lying to each other sort of relationship or one that you feel incredibly close and trusting in?
Im assuming you want the best, therefore you have to act upon that. Don't put yourself into a situation where you KNOW you might end up doing something youd regret. Just because someone is "beautiful and popular" doesnt mean they are worth giving up your values with. You have to do what's best for you and you have to believe that you deserve the best. Don't walk down the path that will cause you to end up lying to your boyfriend and cheating on him. Just because it "seems right" for the moment, it really wont ever end up getting you where you want to be.
Be honest with everyone, especially with your boyfriend.
Talk to him and let him know what happened.
16.) Well I have a problem.....
My friend (who is a boy) asked me out on Friday right before a school dance, so I said yes and we danced and stuff then at the end he kissed my cheek and that was it. Then we went to the movies on Saturday and he kissed me 3 more times (not on the lips though) so now it's Monday and he is telling everyone that he wants to hook up with me and I would like to hook up with him but it's kinda a little to early for that you know? I mean we are only 12! How should I tell him to slow down? Or what should I do?????? I feel like breaking up with him is definetly not an option.....
Thanks
Woah, woah, slow down. First things first, before you have a relationship with ANY guy, you need to know what kind of boundaries you are going to set for yourself. I think you’re making the right decision with this guy by wanting to tell him to slow down, but don’t be afraid to do so. Just be mature about it and tell him that you aren’t ready for a serious relationship. Let him know that you like him but also let him know that if he wants to have a relationship with you, then he’ll have to take things a little slower. If he REALLY likes you, and he sees more in a relationship with you than just kissing and stuff, he’ll be willing to wait. If he doesn’t listen, then he’s not the guy for you. Be the kind of girl that stands up for what she knows is right. When you do, I think you’ll find that more guys will respect you for that, and they’ll be willing to wait.
Be strong! I hope this helped
15.) hmmmm
2 me im a 12 year old ugly and fat girl im only 5 foot and i weight like 104 lbs but at school its different,
theres like 7 boys who have a crush on me, nd not only i kno dat but like ma whole intire grade noez it
it sorta getz annoyin cuz like all da ppz r like oo oo oo u kno wat? blah blah blah likes u.... i am da kind of person who juss cant ignore things like dat i also am da kind of like tom boys who will juss go 2 a boy and like punch him 4 the pass 4 years in my new and old school ive been popular 4 kikin boyz ass'es i try 2 get out of the habbit cuz like in parties u c me dancing like crazii nd dey like wdf..? i dun think u sappose 2 b dancin since ur like the more tom boyish kind.. but i sort of like get pissed every single dai cuz dere'z sum1sayin stuff bout sum1 likin me...... nd i CANT juss ignore it.... i have propblems wit my frendz 2.. itz juss i have sum really really annoyin friends who juss wont stfu and stop talkin dey alwayz get my class in trouble and sumtimes we have detention aftr scool cuz of em i got really really annoyed wit dat so i juss went up 2 their faces and said " u kno wat u shuld stfu 1 day cuz ur acting like a bitch and i dun think any1 wants 2 hear u ppl talk" now dey're like mad at me but my other frends agree with me and say itz the right thing.... AND lass of all my family..... i have NEVER EVER lived a day in my life wen we didn't fight in my family... my mom and dad r hard workers dey work every day from 6am-7pm including saturday and sundays dey dunt have any days off except 4 christmas and dats only 1 DAY we even fight on christmas... itz juss we always fight about 1 thin or anothr... i also juss had a really big fight with the boy i like and i have no idea wat 2 do ... he doesnt even kno i like him but i kno he likz me.... well use 2 but iduno how he feels after diz fight... plz help me
Wow, this is a lot..but I think I can help. First things first, you’re going to have to get used to guys liking you. That’s something I can’t really change. I understand how it could get annoying though. If I were you, I’d tell the people that are always coming up to you saying, "oh! SO AND SO likes you!" to just back off. Tell them that it’s cool that they like you, but you don’t always have to hear about it. If YOU like THEM then I guess that’s a different story, but as for the people that are just spreading rumors and saying that guys like you, let them know that it gets annoying. If a guy REALLY likes you, then he’ll tell you HIMSELF. He won’t need Bob to tell Jane to tell Henry to tell you. Lol That’s just stupid.
Anyway, part two. Your friends. You said that they are really annoying and you always find yourself getting in trouble because of them. I think it’s good that you told them, but it’s how you told them, that probably didnt solve much. If I were you, I would tell them that you’re sorry for being rude to them but also tell them that it DOES get annoying that you have to have detention because they wont stop talking during class. That isn’t fair for you and you shouldn’t have to be punished for their mistakes. If these friends are...well, immature, and they don’t listen to what you have to say, then I guess I would look for some other friends. Its great to stand up for what’s right and if you’re friends are getting you in trouble, then it’d be better to surround yourself those who don’t.
As for your family, I can see how discouraging this has to be. I think there is really only one way to stop all the fighting, and that’s just to talk to them. Tell them that you hate when everyone is fighting and you would love to spend a day together having fun and getting along. Do something nice for them like make dinner or straighten up the house before they get home. Whatever will make them happy or less stressed will definately help with all of the arguing. Suggest going out to dinner or seeeing a movie together. If your parents see that you desire a change and you’re willing to try and make them happier, I’m sure they’d listen. Take advantage of the time you DO get to spend together, and make the most of it by being as nice as possible.
And last but not least, the guy you like. Forget about the fight you got in and try to fix things. You have to get things back on the right track if you want to have a relationship with him. Tell him that you’re sorry and show him that you mean it. Let him know that you thought fighting with him was stupid and you miss being friends with him. If he likes you and he sees that you’re sorry, Im sure he’ll forgive you. Don’t dwell on what happened in the past, try to make things better for the future. Let this guy know that you like him too. You never know what you might be missing when you don’t tell someone how you feel.
Good luck with everything, I know this was somewhat long but I hope it helped you.
Stay strong.
14.) long story short: Colin (my ex bf and Ryan's bff) and i were tryin to hook bak up well something happened between Ryan and i (we kissed...i know i know i know bad thing to do!!) and Ryan told Colin about it b/c he didn't want me and Colin back together b/c "he still loves me" blah blah blah well Colin got pissed about it which i don't blame him but the only reason i did it is cause first of all it just happened and second i didn't think that Colin was seriously wantin to hook bak up with me (turns out he really did) but anyways they made a bet with each other Colin sayin that he could get me to say i wanted to go bak out with him and Ryan sayin i wouldn't cause "he had a lil more faith in me" w/e soo Colin calls me and acts like Ryan isn't there I KNEW THE WHOLE EFFIN TIME!!!! that Ryan was with Colin when he called me but i said the truth i said i didn't have any intentions on goin bak out with Ryan which i didn't, that i always wondered wat it would be like to go bak out with Colin, and that i did wat to go bak out with him, soo...we get off the phone cause Colin makes up a lie and say he's goin to call his gf soo ok they call me bak and keep harassing me Ryan tells me something that pissed me off (that hes goin bak out with Heather) i call Jessica then i call John and John 3-ways Ryan and Ryan says all this crap i was tryin to be quiet and just listen but i get in on it Colin grabs Ryan's phone starts sayin crap then Matt gets on Johns phone is talkin then Chris grabs Ryan's phone and threatens us/me with a gun John tries to call Heather's phone to see where shes at Colin answer's her phone John and Colin get into it bad soo John's Dad gets the phone from John and starts in on Colin oo man it was funny and scary at the same time cause Colin was talkin crap to Mike and he didn't know who he was talkin to lol but later on Mike calls me and talks to me bout some stuff then Kerry John's mom calls me and we talked forever and i told her everything thats goin on and Colin tried to call me bak later but i didn't answer b/c i'm not talkin to them anymore i told them to leave me the heck alone soo yea i bet they won't listen though and they will still tourment me but they can't if i don't answer!!! haha!! lol.... well i wound up cryin that night cause they always try to get me in trouble with the other one and they said some really hurtful stuff to me i know i'm lettin them rule my life but i just don't know how to get out of it and i'm just kinda use to my life sucking and everyone treatin me like crap thats how its always been and yea i was told to block their numbers and yea that would work but then i would be all depressed cause i wasn't talkin to them and i would probably wind up callin them or somthing and i don't really have anyone to stand by me and tell me not too soo i'm having to do this all on my own and it suks i really can't take much more of this.... i just don't know wat to do anymore i need a guy or something that will make me take my mind off of them or something and i have a feeling that once i get bak to school that some more crap will be started....GAH!! i'm soo stupid i had a feelin the whole time when i was talkin to Colin something bad was goin to come out of it but yet i still talked to him! at least now i know who my real friends are i know who i can trust and who i can't and i saw the real side of some ppl but yea...again wat should i do now?? lol i'm sry i'm such a basket case but u have really good advice and thanx for like the 20th time lol
Sam!
Hey Sam,
Wow, lol that was rather...confusing, but I think I understand. Basically you said yourself that you realized you dont need to hang out with them. You know that you deserve better than how they were treating you. You just proved to yourself again that you know who you can trust, and who you can’t trust. You know who you’re real friends are and you know who will lie, hurt, and backstab you. So, since you know all of that..you have to use that knowledge. Don’t mess around with people that you KNOW will hurt you. Even if you wonder what things would be like if you were friends again, STAY AWAY. You just have to realize that people arent always as nice, or as good as they might appear. That’s the sad thing. Some people DONT change. Accept that, and learn from it. Don’t mess around with it, because if you make those kind of people you’re everything...you won’t have anyone good left to turn to. Find the friends you know you can trust and really think about the people that have NEVER hurt you, or would even want to. Hang out with them, talk to them, and show them that you are thankful that you have someone like them. Don’t let yourself believe that you are trapped into being with friends with people that treat you like crap. You ARE stronger than that and you dont have to call them, or even start missing them, when you surround yourself with people who treat you better than they do. Think to the future and try to focus on those who will never leave your side. Give it a chance. I know it will take time, but if you prove to yourself that you DESERVE better friends, there won’t be any need to look back.
I really believe you can do this. Stay strong.
13.) This is long, but I'll try to shorten it up a bit.
Okay, well someone told my dad that me and my bf were doing inappropriate things in my sis's car...which is stupid cuz I would never ever do something like that. So now my dad won't let me go to his house to watch movies or do well anythings unless there's at least three of our friends there. This not only hurts me and my bf (who they used to trust until now, even though my mom said she believes me she sure doesn't act like it), but also his parents are mad at my parents because 1.)They feel like their basically saying they're bad parents that can't teach their son to control himself and 2.)My parents can't tell them when to invite people into THEIR home, and I can't say I disagree. To make matter worse, my bf's mom says if this keeps up she'll make us break up because she thinks it's stupid(And it is, but why should WE get punished for it?!). We've been together for well over a year, and yet things are just now getting to be this way. My dad's giving me the silent treatment, too. I feel like they not only don't trust me, but that they also think I'm a liar and a skank who's gonna get pregnant at sixteen, but I know I'm supposed to save myself for marraige. I just am hurt and confused and I need a lot of help. Thanks so much<3
-Hopelessly Helpless-
Dear Hopelessly Helpless,
I support you for wanting to prove to your parents that you are telling the truth. It’s good that you want to save yourself for marriage too, because only then will you truly appreciate doing anything serious with a guy.
First of all, I think you know you have to talk to your parents. Id start with your dad. Tell him that you love him and that you are thankful to have a dad that cares so much about his daughter. But also tell him that it is BECAUSE you love him that you would never want to break his trust. If you are truly honest like you say you are, then you can prove that to him. He has to be able to believe you and I think talking to him one on one will allow this to happen. Don’t yell or start fighting with him, just calmly say to him, "dad Id really like to talk to you..." Be mature about it...yelling or arguing that you are right and he’s wrong will only make matters worse. Tell him that whoever told him that you were doing bad things with your boyfriend was wrong.
By the way...
--This "someone" who told your dad all this...well, how can they even prove their point? Do they have evidence that you were doing something with your boyfriend..or are they just assuming that since you were in a car together that you were messing around? Thats a good thing to keep in mind...if they were assuming that you were doing those kinds of things without any proof, there isn’t any need for your dad to believe them.
I think you should also tell your parents that there is a reason that you’ve been going out with your boyfriend for so long. Tell them that you aren’t the kind of girl that just goes from guy to guy without even thinking. You’ve had to put something GOOD into this relationship to make it last this long, so why would you want to ruin it by doing something stupid to lose your parents trust?
Let them know that you want to keep your relationship with your boyfriend and tell them that you ALSO are willing to wait until marriage to do anything more than you should. Don’t be scared to bring this up..if you are serious about making your point and you are mature in doing it, then your parents will be likely to listen.
Be strong..and give it a shot.
Feel free to comment back if you need more advice or something else happens...
12.) Ehm, well, where to start....I cut and am depressed- trying to stop. I am bi, but really love my b/f, therefore scared to tell him......
I don't really know what else to say.....Thanks a bunch for reading this....if you don't read it, you won't get the thanks...haha....
PS I guess I should also tell you that I have a horrible habit of breaking up with guys that I still like, and am apathetic in new situations...
Hey,
This is big. Actually, it's huge. You're definately dealing with a lot right now, so it's kind of hard to think of where I should start. First of all, I think that cutting yourself is only going to make things worse. I know you probably assumed that Id say somthing like that, but it's true. You said that you are depressed and I think that the only way to stop the cutting is to change whatever it is that is making you depressed. This is also a bit of a challenge, because I can't exactly say what it is that is causing your depression. Only you can answer that.
If you know that you feel depressed when you're around your friends, or you feel like you don't belong around certain people because of the situations that you always find yourself in, then it's best to get away from that. Try to surround yourself with friends that will bring you up. Don't settle for what you can live with.
If your depressed because of your relationship with your boyfriend and you think that you are bi, then you need to tell him. Hiding something from the person you love will only make you feel more depressed. And more depression=more hurting yourself.
I want you to know that when you hurt yourself and you are depressed, you can definately begin to question who you are. You said you loved your boyfriend, and I know this may sound weird but just because you might think that you like other girls, doesn't necessarily mean that you are bi. I think that you can admire other girls, maybe even how pretty they are...or how confident they seem, and you can easily like them for that. Although this may be true, it doesn't mean that you have to like them in a sense that you are well, bi. Admiring someone, and actually liking them, like that, are two completely different things.
I think the reason that you find yourself breaking up with guys you still like is because you feel somewhat inconfident. You can't be yourself if you really don't know who you are. You cant live with cutting yourself and still expect to be interested and loving with other things in life. It's just too hard.
I think that you should do youre very best to think about what it is that is making you depressed. Really ask yourself why you continue to cut. If it's for relief of a temporary problem, then is it really worth it? Try to fix what's wrong and not take out the anger on yourself. You have a future and a purpose in life, and I believe that with all of my heart. It's easy to feel like nothing is worth it and to wish so much that things would just change, but you have to be strong. Pain doesn't last forever and you won't always feel so trapped. You have to be the change you want to see, starting with yourself. Think of who you want to be, who you truly dream yourself of becoming, and don't ignore it, strive for it.
I hope this helped, and I really do believe you can handle this.
<3
11.)I have a big problem- here it is.
My boyfriend and i have been going out for a month. I love him soo much and he loves me. Well we were on the phone one night and he goes "guess what?" and i say "what?" and then after a minute of me guessing he says it's a huge surprise and i can't know now. Well to get revenge (lol) i say i have to tell him somthing too and it's a surprise. I actually don't have anything to tell him, i just ment to say it jokingly. He took it seriously and he said "i want to know by saturday or i'll be madd! I'll tell you then but you go first" We even fliped a coin and it laned on heads which was me... so i have to go first. I think he was kidding but i'm scared. We haven't kissed yet so i think i might kiss him and tell him thats the surprise all along. but i'm soo nervous, i've never kissed anyone. i'm stuck in a rut.
lol, so please help!!
Love,alyssa
Dear Alyssa,
Dont worry! Lol
I think it’s sweet of you to think about kissing him for your "surprise", especially when you didn’t really have a surprise to begin with...lol... I wouldn’t stress over it though. A first kiss is probably one of the most amazing things ever. So don’t look at it as "oh, I hope I don’t do it wrong," or "what if he doesn’t like it?". Look at it as, "this will be something I’ll always remember, so Im not going to ruin it by being nervous". Lol Just enjoy it. You’ll look back one day and wish that every kiss would’ve been as sweet as your first. I don’t think there is a way give a "bad" kiss, unless you’re really trying too. It will come naturally, so don’t freak out or anything.
Also, never let your kisses get you carried away. If you kiss more than you talk to each other, kisses become more of a routine...and talking becomes harder. Keep your relationship stronger by saving kisses for special occasions like these.
I wish you the best of luck...
And many happy kisses. Lol
Hope this helped.
10.) hey i realize that you prolly arent gunna be able to help me out that much because youve got all these other ppl to help also..but im kind of having a problem...1st off i said sum things about sum ppl that i shouldnt have that juss hurt their feelings...but tha thing is we were best friends all our high school years..but now that were seniors i went my seperate way..whut should i do?..help please..
Hey,
Id be happy to help you. I try to make time for everyone, so don't worry about me not having time for you.
It's incredibly easy to say something about someone and then wish in an instant that you could take it back. It's cool that you're sorry and you want things to change though. Most people can mean say things, but then feel too guilty to try and seek forgiveness. So good job there and major props for doing the right thing.
One of my favorite quotes is, "Trust can take years to build and seconds to shatter". I know that sounds kind of depressing in your case, but I think it can help you. You said that you were best friends with this person all through high school. That definately means a LOT. I think the first thing you need to do is seek that friendship that you had with this person. The only real way to do that is to try talking to them again. This sounds scary, and almost not worth it, especially if they are really mad at you for what you said, but I think it could pull things back together. If I were you I would tell this person that you feel awful about how things ended and that you're incredibly sorry for saying bad things about them. Don't get upset though, if they don't accpet your apology. Talking bad about someone can hurt them in ways unimaginable, so it could take more than a simple "Im sorry".
You'll have to show them that they really mean something to you. Remind them of the friendship that you used to have and how much you miss it. Write them a note, or show them old pictures of the two of you. Be persistant and don't give up. Eventually, with time, they'll be able to see that you are willing to care again. Doing more than apologizing will earn that trust that you used to have with them.
If they don't accept your friendship and you've tried as best you could, then it's okay to just back away. Sometimes people can hold grudges and no matter how sincere you might be in seeking forgiveness, things just don't work out.
In the mean time be careful about what you say. Always imagine the worst happening. Before you say something you might regret, imagine what would happen if the person you were talking about was standing right in front of you when you said it. Think of how you would feel if your best friend was talking about you that very minute.
I think if you stay strong and show them that you are truly sorry, then things could work out.
Don't give up. I wish you the best of luck!
Feel free to comment me back sometime if you ever need more advice on anything.
9.) well my crush mostly flirted with this one girl all the time and my friend told me that he would look at me to see if i was looking....surprisingly today, he didn't flirt with her...he only hugged her and that's all...today durin class...he asked me questions and all and when i answered them...they owuld be like "oo monse beat u alexia!"...cuz alexia is the class brain and stuff like that...so then he kept on sayin stuff like that...i want to know if he likes me b/c sometimes he'll flirt and sometimes he won't. one problem is that he has a gf and one day alexxia told me that when she asked him somethin about his gf, he said that he didnt want to talk bout her...my question is...how do i know if he DOES LIKE ME...like 100% sure and if he does, how do i show him that i like him too?
Well, those are some pretty good questions. I think that the first thing that you need to take into consideration is his girlfriend. I know that may sound weird but you dont want to get in the way of their relationship if it’s still going on and they still have strong feelings for one another. When I say "getting in the way" I mean that you don’t want to be super brave and ask him out, or even purposely flirt with him in front of his girlfriend. Doing so will only make his girlfriend jealous and angry, which could lead to fighting and all of that wonderful stuff. Find out what kind of relationship they have with each other and if they aren’t going out anymore then by all means, feel free to show him that you like him.
I think the best way to show him that you like him is just to become closer friends with him. Talk to him and see what he’s interested in. Be polite towards him and most importantly, be yourself. Being yourself is almost like the ultimate test for a guy. If he likes you for the way you are right now then the chances of the two of you having a lasting relationship will be much greater. But if you try to be someone that you aren’t and put on an act in order for him to like you, chances are you’ll feel worse about yourself in the long run if you do get together, and things probably wont last very long.
Let him know that you care about him by listening to him and not always talking about the things going on in your life. Give it time though. You dont want to rush into a relationship if you aren’t already semi-close to one another. Flirting is great, but it isn’t everything. Im not sure that you can be 100% positive that he likes you unless he asks you out. I mean there are signs that he could like you, and flirting is definately one of them. But I guess you should also take into consideration as to how he treats you compared to other girls. If he flirts with everyone and seems to be interested in multiple girls, then things might be different. Who knows? If you also like him like you say you do, then you should treat him differently than you do other guys. Im not saying you cant be friends with other guys, but show him that you like him by giving him more of the attention.
It sounds like his relationship with his girlfriend might be coming to an end though, meaning that now could be your chance to work towards a relationship with this guy. I wish you the best of luck with this and I hope that things work out for the best.
8.) OK IM 16 UHM Im a girl and uhm i dont know im havign alot of problems with my boyfriend he uhm well lets just say uh sumthin bad we did and i regret it and he had bad pictures of meh if u know what i mean and we always brake up and get back toegteher but it hurts me beacuse he calls me a bitch but i cant brake up with hihm i dont know what to do im scared of making him mad.. wat do i do.
Wow, this is a problem. First of all, I give you props for hanging in there. Situations like this can hurt and it’s good that you want to do the right thing.
Doing something with your boyfriend that you regret is only going to make your relationship with him worse. I think thats the main thing that you need to realize. Guys are clueless sometimes, and he sounds like a jerk for keeping bad pictures of you and calling you a B. Dont be scared to break up with him. However hard this may be, try to think strongly about it. Being scared will only prove to him that he is able to take advantage of you. Standing up for yourself and telling him that you aren’t happy with the way things are going will have the best results. If you continue to just be afraid and let your relationship fall downhill, then you might end up in a situation MUCH WORSE than the one you are in right now. If the greatest of your worries is making him mad, then he isn’t the guy for you anyways. A good boyfriend should be someone that you can talk to, someone that you can express your feelings towards when you KNOW things aren’t going right. If this guy will get mad at you for that, then so be it.
Everyone makes mistakes. Your problems and the things that you did with your boyfriend are part of those mistakes. Learn from them. Realize that you deserve BETTER from a boyfriend and most importantly, for yourself. Picture yourself in 5, or even 10 years and think about what kind of relationship you want to have with a guy. You dont want to be the one that keeps their mouth shut when things aren’t going right. And you most definately dont want to be taken advantage of.
If this guy means anything to you and you mean a lot to him, then go ahead and talk to him about whats wrong. Like I said before, if he gets mad then he’s not being the kind of mature, and loving boyfriend that you deserve anyway. Dont be afraid. Doing what you know is right will leave you feeling much better about yourself, I promise.
Good luck with this and I hope I helped!
7.) Okay here's one for you.
I'm 20. I'm male. I'm a sensitive guy. I can't help it.
There's this girl I met 2 or so years ago. She was dating this overprotective boyfriend at the time, so I thought nothing of her. We started to talk more and more outside of hanging out with the group we normally would hang out with. One weekend when her boyfriend was out of town we got the chance to hang out, still as friends. We hung out almost every minute of that whole weekend. It was during this time I realized that I had developed feelings for her. I made the mistake of telling a friend of ours who told everyone he knew. It spelled disaster from the start. her boyfriend found out and forbid me to talk to her and vice versa until about 7-8 months later. We started to talk again and became even closer as friends. I've explained my situation in my feelings for her multiple times but she only can tell me that if it's meant to be it will happen. It occurs to me that when she talks to me she says things to me as if we were dating, only to give me false hopes, or are they? She now started dating this one guy after meeting him one night and sleeping with him. After 2 days of dating him she tells him how much she "loves" him, and he says the same. What makes it worse is he lives 6 hours from us, doesn't have a damn clue what love really is, and thinks he knows everything about her. I been blessed with the time that has been given to me to get to know her as much as possible, and to come to terms with the fact that my feelings have gotten stronger and stronger with each coming day. I love her to death, as a friend, and I wish it was more. So much more. I don't think she would ever realize that no one could love her the way I want to, yet she tells me she doesn't have feelings for me, but if it's meant to happen, it will. Furthermore she is dating and "loves" a guy I know she couldn't possibly considering he is dumb as a rock and is not romantic at all. I know that's the type of girl she is. I don't want to give up on my feelings for her, but I'm afriad if I persue it I will lose my best friend at the same time.
Do I continue running after something I'll never get? Or will she finally realize how much I love her? Or do I get over her? And if so...how? I've tried numerous times and i can't take her off my mind. She grows more beautiful with each coming day
I appreciate the advice and I love the idea of a help site over Xanga. Peace and God Bless
Josh
Dear Josh,
I admire how persistant you are with trying to chase after the one you love. Lol As dumb as that sounds, I think it’s really cool to hear that you care a lot about this girl and you aren’t willing to just let her slip away.
However, this girl may not be the one for you. Now, I dont know that FOR SURE...but in a way she sounds really clueless. You mentioned that you spent a lot of time together and that you have developed a pretty good friendship, which is great. A friendship with this girl is definately worth keeping. You also said that she has another boyfriend who lives six hours away and they’ve slept together after only 2 days...?! That is NOT love and whatever idea that this girl has for so called "love" is wrong.
I know you said that you’ve explained to her "multiple times" how much she means to you and she still isn’t responding in the way that you’d like. She said that if things are meant to work out, they will....which I believe is true, but she doesn’t sound like she is willing to give those "things" a chance to actually work out. It would frustrate me, and Im sure it does you, to hear that she can date a guy for two days and already do things with him that shouldnt happen until marriage, while believing shes in "love". I think this girl needs to get her priorities straight in life before starting another relationship, with ANYONE.
So first of all, don’t blame yourself for this girl not liking you back. In my opinion, you havn’t done anything wrong or anything that I would consider a turn-off towards her. I think the only thing you can really do now is begin to let go. Thinking about her constantly will only make this more of a challenge than it already is. My advice to you is to start hanging around with, or even looking for some other girls that you might be interested in. Talk to them, get to know them, and make some new friends. This doesn’t mean that you have to forget about the girl that you’ve liked forever, I don’t mean that at all. But I do think that it is unfair to YOU that you have to wait around, in hopes that she’ll one day wake up and change her mind. Let her know that you’re always going to be there for her and that you treasure the friendship you have with her. But also realize that she’s making the wrong decisions. She’s basing a 2 day relationship over nothing more than feelings, while she is leaving the love that you’ve offered her for over a year.
She’s crazy for not giving you a chance. It’s not everyday that a guy is willing to wait that long, and try so hard for a girl to like him. If she can’t see that in you then, well like I said before, she’s clueless. And she’s really missing out.
Be strong. Don’t chase forever after this girl because you dont want to have to look back one day and think of all the relationships that you could have had with other people. Give someone else a chance and don’t dwell on the fact that this girl isn’t interested in you. It’s her loss. She’ll realize that one day and she’ll regret it.
I wish you the best of luck and I hope this helped you.
6.) bout the ex again lol ummm.....he's been callin me since they broke up tellin me he loves me and all this junk well i talked to my mom and her bf and they r really concerned about me they hate seein me bein hurt this bad and they hate this guy well after talkin to Darryl(mom's bf) i thought bout some things he said soo i called Ryan(ex) and we were talkin and i was like i don't like the things that u do and have done and that u have done with Heather (ex friend) and i just don't like who u have become and i also said that i didn't want someone that could hurt me like he did in my life anymore and that i didn't deserve wat he did to me and that it hurt me really bad but then after i told him all of this he just got mad and was like k then bye then i think i might have called him bak to try and talk it through idk? but i got like this weird feelin after i told him like i didn't want to lose him then he called me the next day and he was acting like i had never said anything and he just acts like he never did anything to me and things are just soo confusing!! i don't know wat to do anymore plus i have Heather(the girl that went out with Ryan) and Jessica(other ex friend) that keep startin things with me and r goin around sayin stuff about me and all of this stuff is just really gettin to me and like my self esteem is gettin really low but yet i still have ppl tellin me that i'm really pretty and just to drop them but yet i don't believe them and i just can't drop things have anymore advice to give me??? lol thanx for the advice u have given ur a great girl and ur advice is awesome!
Sam!
Hey Sam!
Thanks for commenting back. It’s awesome to hear from you again.
Wow, it sounds like drama has entered back into your life, in every way possible. Lol
First of all, breathe. Relax, you can AND will be able to handle this.
Im proud of you for talking to your ex. That had to take some courage! It was great of you to tell him that you didnt like the way he treated you as well as who he has become. ROCK ON! Lol But it sounds like this guy is STILL not getting the picture. You said he hung up on you? (How mature of him...) And he called you back the next day acting like you never said ANY of that? Maybe he has some sort of mental illness...or a memory that doesn’t seem to function properly. Lol
The point is, you DID SAY all of that...and even more importantly..you MEANT it!
Don’t forget about everything we talked about in the last post. This guy isn’t the one for you if he won’t listen to what you have to say. You are a nice girl who deserves a wonderful boyfriend. Dont let the memories of him hold you back, because those "happy memories" aren’t reality. He’s being a loser for not listening to you. And even more of a loser for not caring. Don’t fall for his trap. If you start a relationship with him again you’re going to feel even worse about yourself than you do right now.
It’s also important for you to ignore the stupid rumors that are being spread by your ex-friends. I think they’re only spreading these rumors for one reason, jealousy. I imagine Heather, his ex-girlfriend is dissappointed with herself too, for letting this guy treat her so badly. Things probably didn’t end the way that she wanted with him and if anything, she’s only jealous when she sees this guy trying to be friends with you again. It isnt fair to her to see him with you..or liking someone else. To me, that makes perfect sense. As for Jessica, your other ex-best friend, well..I guess there is a reason that she’s called your EX best friend. If your basing how you look at yourself according to the lies that these two are spreading, youre very, very wrong.
Surround yourself with friends who aren’t backstabbers and friends that will lift you up, not pull you down. They aren’t worth it and neither is this guy. In your heart, you know that...so act it out. Show them you deserve better and eventually they’ll give up in trying to torment you. And if they dont, then that just goes to show you how pathetic their lives really are.
Be strong. You can do this, you just have to know what YOU want...and what’s best for you. This guy isn’t. Don’t be fooled by him, when you know in your heart he’s not the one for you. Some people dont change and sadly enough, some people will never care like they should.
Find someone that does.
Much love and good luck.
5.) Hey i need your help.
I met this guy last year and since then we had had a kind of. "romantic" relationship. We were always together and all though we werent going out we acted like it. Well, he got drunk one night and said some really mean stuff to me & i just couldnt get over it.I was so hurt. Then he said he liked me and he was treating me so well and wanted to go out with me but he was getting more and more into drinking and i didnt like that. So i turned him down. Since then we had stopped talking, i guess after i had rejected him he felt no need to talk to me. After acouple months he had quit drinking after a family incidence -- he had seen the efffects it could have. I now have strong feelings for him. --more than friends. I have brought it up in many suddle ways and he always turns the idea down. We now have the label of brother and sister because we are so close. But i want more. He said he doesnt want to loose what we already have.. I have no idea what to do? Should i keep the friends status ?? or give up?? or what.....
ugh thank you so much. =]
xo Krissy
Dear Krissy,
I give you major props for doing the right thing. It was good of you to turn him down because he was getting so into drinking. If you hadn't done that, who knows where you could be right now. He could have hurt you more with words, or even tempted you to drink with him. So, good job with part one. lol That takes courage and strength. Im proud of you!
As for the relationship you have right now, it does sound very confusing. It makes sense that things would be a little akward after you broke up with him, and I'm not surprised that he stopped talking to you. He probably KNEW that drinking was wrong and when you proved that to him, I imagine he felt somewhat embarassed. Its good that you are both close again though. Be thankful that you are friends with him again, and that you didnt lose EVERYTHING when you broke up.
Im glad that you said he stopped drinking because he realized what kind of effects it had. To me, thats a major change, for the better. I can relate to you with this, too. I was best friends with a guy for almost a year. He started liking me and I got scared because I knew in my heart that I would be incredibly lost if I didnt have our friendship. He was persistant though, and he told me that things might even get better if we were together. I gave it a chance, and we've been going out for over a year. lol So, sometimes things DO get better when you go out and a friendship that is true and strong will never be lost.
If I were you I would tell this guy that you are willing to be there for him and you really do like him. Tell him that you would hate to lose your friendship too, but also encourage him and tell him that you would do your absolute best to keep that from ever happening. It sounds like he likes you and he just needs a little faith in starting a relationship again. Give it time. Prove to him that you'll always be there for him and that nothing could break your friendship. If you are persistant, like my boyfriend was, then chances are good that you'll get back together.
Don't obsess over it though. What's meant to happen will. In the meantime, enjoy what you already have, a great friend. Even if you don't go back out with him it's good to know that you're both there for each other.
I hope things work out for the best and I hope this helped you.
Good luck.
4.) hey! im havin trouble...i like this guy that i've been out with like 6 times already...and he broke up with me earlier this month and told me he wanted a break so like a week later i started going out with one of his friends and he got mad and we were going out for 2 weeks and i went to a party that my b/f couldnt go to cuz he was grounded and my ex- was there and asked me to dance and i realized that i wont over him yet...and he told me that he still liked me but if me and my b/f were to break up he would wait at least a week b/c he wouldnt wanna make him mad...so i broke up with my boyfriend on monday and im kinda confused on if i should go out with him--i really love him but i dont wanna get hurt again...please help!
<3Anna
Dear Anna,
This does sound very confusing. You said that you've already gone out with him six times. Thats a lot! You didn't mention the reasons for breaking up with each other six times though. If I were you, I would think about why things ended before. Did he cheat on you? Was he using you just to have a girlfriend? Did he treat you like a real boyfriend should have?
If any of those questions don't have the right answers, then something is wrong. If this guy really likes you, and is willing to be there for you...what happened all those times before? I know its hard to foroget about someone, and even harder to try and date someone else, but if this guy hasn't treated you right in the past, chances are things won't be any different this time. Before saying yes to going back out with him think about the way things ended in the past. Realize that putting up with another short-term relationship that ends in a heart break, ISNT worth it.
You have to be the judge. If you know in your heart that you need more time, and proof that things would be better if you went out again, tell this guy. If he loves you, he will be willing to wait for you. No matter what. If things are going to end so soon like they did before, tell this guy that you aren't ready to have a serious relationship with him again.
Either way, consider this as somewhat of a test. Like I said before, if this guy loves you and tells you he wants to be with you, then he'll be willing to wait. If not, then you'll find someone else. A broken heart doesn't last forever and there will be SOMEONE else out there, for you in the future. Someone who will wait forever, not even considering breaking up with you and messing with your heart. Sometimes you just have to be patient and wait for the best.
Don't settle for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't live without.
Good luck and do whats best for YOU.
Hope this helped.
3.) theres this girl who ruined my life at a point of time!!!!!
well i was going out with her x boi friend wiley n i liked him soooo much i like loved his sooo much n when he waqs in the middle of asking me out she sit on me n then when she found out i was going out with him she slapped him latter that week she started horrible rumors saying i was pregnate n i was 16 n im only 13 then it started making him think we werent ment 4 eachother n then one day tht week some one dared me to make out with my best friend rebekah so i did cuz i dont pass down on dares n he broke up with me when i told him n b4 we went out we were best friends n after we wernt friends at all no matter how much he said we would be
then all of a sudden we went to a f-ball game n i hung out with him cuz my other friend danee was so i hung out with them so my friend taylor thought that gave her a chnace to be all over him so what did she do pushed me outa her way when i went to stand by him n she got me so mad then we were going to go to the rec(a club place) n she was all over him there n i was so hurt cuz it was 3 days after we broke up n the thing is my friend taylor always says when i go out with a guy eww i would never be his friend how can yew go out with him n then the next thing i kno when we break up n i I STILL HAVE FEELING 4 him shes all over him!!!!!!
can u give me some advice
love erika
Dear Erika,
I support you for being so strong and trying to put up with the "girl" that was so rude to you. She didn't have a right to sit on you, slap your boyfriend, or even start such a nasty rumor about you that wasn't even true. People like her are usually so mean because they're jealous. Obviously. And although she did all those things, your boyfriend was probably just scared when he was thinking you wern't meant for each other. He probably thought that this "girl" would hurt you or him even more if you kept going out with each other. Who knows.
You said he broke up with you because of a dare that you couldn't back down from. Sometimes it's not easy to back down from a dare, but if it's something that could change your relationship with someone, or even make them think differently of you then its okay to say no. Once again, your boyfriend was probably just confused and maybe even a little scared. Imagine what you would feel like if he told you that he made out with another guy. I know that sounds weird, but it's probably exactly what he was thinking when he found out what you did.
I think one of the hardest things about breaking up with someone is trying to go back to that best friend relationship that you had before you went out. Since things are confusing and hard right now maybe you need a break. Take some time to hang out with friends that you KNOW treat you right, and maybe even try to hang out with some new guys. This may sound complicating, but if you're hanging around with your ex, and a friend that is all over him, you're only going to feel worse. If time goes on and you still find yourself liking him, then you have to talk to him. Tell him your sorry for how things went when you were going out and let him know that you want to be his friend again.
Being friends with him will get things back on the right track and may even lead to the two of you to going back out. In the mean time try to forget how horrible that "girl" treated you, because if anything..she just wants you to feel hurt. If Taylor continues hanging all over him and she's your FRIEND, then you have to talk to her too. Tell her that you still have feelings for him and it's really hard to see your own friend hanging all over him so soon after you broke up. If she's a true friend, she'll understand.
In the mean time, stay strong. Let your ex know that youre sorry and if it's meant to work out, it will.
Good luck with this and I hope I was able to help.
2.) I need some help..i think i love my best friends boy friend. What should i do??
<33Monica
Dear Monica,
Yes, that would be a problem. lol You mentioned that this was your BEST friend. That means something. A best friend is someone who isnt easily replaced. Im assuming that the two of you are pretty close and I imagine that you both talk a lot. You have to realize that liking her boyfriend, or "loving" him, could change things. I guess a good question to ask yourself is "am I willing to love this guy so much that Id try to get in the way of my best friends relationship with him?" If you answered yes to that, imagine what would happen if you did. Your best friend would probably feel extremely hurt. If this a boyfriend she's had for a long time and they're pretty close, seeing you with him would kill her.
I know it isn't easy to just stop liking or "loving" someone, though. If I were you, I would try to back away as best I could. For example, if you are purposely taking time out of the day to talk to or even hang out with her boyfriend try to stop. If you dont stop, eventually your best friend is going to get suspicious. She may even start questioning you, which could lead to a fight youd wish you never had. If time goes on and you cant stop liking him, then the only thing left for you to do is talk to your best friend. Tell her how you feel about him, but also tell her how much you treasure her as a friend. Let her know how much she means to you. Having her as a best friend is WAY more important than dating her boyfriend.
If things are meant to happen they will. If youre supposed to end up with her boyfriend, you most likely will. In the mean time, dont make choices youre going to regret. Friends first, their boyfriends second. lol (um.. that DIDNT sound so good, but you get the idea)
Hope this helped.
1.) Part Two
great advice! helps alot thanx! but .....theres more stuff goin on now they broke up yesterday and he thinks that i'm goin to get bak with him Which I'm NOT goin to do!!!but like hes tellin me he loves me and that he misses me and bein all sweet again and i just really don't want to fall bak into his trap soo yea again wat should i do this time??? cause i think i still do like him but i don't want to be with him anymore b/c of the stuff that he does and wat he did with my friend and just who he is now gah! i'm just soo confused!!!
Sam!
Hey Sam,
It doesn't really surprise me that they already broke up. It seems like he almost went out with her to use her or something. First of all, you have to be able to tell the difference between truly liking someone and liking who they USED to be. You may have liked the memories you shared with him in the past, along with how happy you USED to be with him..but you have to think about what things are like right now. If he wasnt able to trust you before and he was willing to break up with you so easily, then you shouldn't try starting a serious relationship with him again.
Not to mention the "things" that he started doing with your best friend, which could ultimately hurt you if you were to get back together. For your own protection and avoiding the risk of another broken heart, Id tell this guy that you just want to be friends. And if he really wants to be with you, then give it time. Let HIM SHOW YOU that hes going to treat you like a real boyfriend should, not a jerk. Saying "I love you" and actually meaning it are two completely different things.
If hes being sweet to you CONSTANTLY and youre finding it hard to escape, then try hanging out with other people. Let him know that you arent as interested as he may think. You can do this...just stay strong, and know what you truly want. Someone who will treat you the way deserve to be treated.
Hope this helped
1.) i need some advice desprately lol ummm...i was goin out with this guy for 6 months and we told each other we loved each other and so on then me and him break up cause someone told him lies bout me like i was cheatin on him and all this other stuff (which i wasn't!!!) soo..he breaks up with me ( bad bad break up) then the next day he goes over to my "best friends" house meets her dad and like hangs over there for awhile and stuff then me and her get into it big but like when me and him were goin out they would talk and text and all this other stuff and it pissed me off (like we didn't fight we just hated each other) and soo like her and my ex start datin (and still are) but he admitted to me and others that hes only with her cause hes tryin to get bak at me and like all this other stuff and but like i haven't had a day where i haven't thought bout it, heard bout it, or seen them and it like still to this day (month maybe later) hurts me like i still cry over it and stuff but he treats her really bad and shes into stuff she wasn't into before and her and my other "best friend" plus the ex r makin my life a livin hell soo like wat should i do talk to them or just deal with it or wat??? thanx Sam!
Dear Sam,
WOW. First of all, I give you major props for being able to handle everything that you're going through. I think that if anything, you deserve the best in a relationship with a guy because you seem to care a lot. However, I dont think this is the guy for you.
It was wrong of him to break up with you because of a rumor that you were cheating on him. One of the biggest parts of being able to make a relationship last is to have trust with each other. If he wasnt able to trust you and he was willing to throw an entire six months away over something he "heard", then he isn't worth your time. Another thing that bothers me is the fact that he says hes going out with your best friend to "get back at you". To me, that seems really immature.
You also said that he's treating your "best friend" really bad. Thats almost a warning sign. If you did get back together with him, what would make him treat you any better than he is her? You should talk to your ex-best friend. Even though you may have gotten in a huge fight, she needs help. She may feel just as hurt as you are right now because of how hes treating her.
Its going to be hard to get over this and crying/worrying about it is completely normal. You're like me in a sense that you want to see the good in people, even when it hurts the most. It hurts like heck to try and forget the good times that you had with someone, trust me, Ive been there. If I were you though, Id do my best to stay away from this guy and to warn your old best friend. This guy is going to realize one day how much of a jerk he's being, and if he comes crawling back to you or your "best friend" you'll both know better.
Good luck with this and stay strong.
Sorry this was a little long..but I hope it helped. | 